CAPTAIN CANADA VS CANADIAN TWO-FACE

 

CAPTAIN CANADA VS. CANADIAN TWO-FACE

[The CN Tower's observation deck - midnight]

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Ramon, talk to me. What am I looking at?"

ATILAMAN (over comms): "Bad news, Captain. Those aren't regular computer servers. They're running some kind of propaganda machine."

CANADIAN TWO-FACE (stepping from shadows): "Propaganda? That's such an ugly word, Captain Canada."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Two-Face! I should have known. What's your game this time?"

(Two-Face flips his coin - Gosling side up)

TWO-FACE (Gosling): "Game? This whole country's just a bunch of guys swinging their dicks around to see who's got the biggest branch to slap against a tree. We're just... helping them measure."

(Coin flips mid-sentence - Reynolds side up)

TWO-FACE (Reynolds): "Correction: We're conducting important social research about information flow."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "You're messing with people's heads!"

MARK CARNEY (entering): "Actually, we're just accelerating natural human tendencies—"

CAPTAIN CANADA (interrupting): "Save it, Carney. I've seen tougher opponents at a Tim Hortons' senior's shuffleboard night."

ATILAMAN (bursting in): "Don't listen to them, Captain. They're using basic tech to manipulate people."

(Carney presses a button - robotic beavers activate)

CARNEY: "Meet our Fiscal Rodents. They'll handle this disruption."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "You built robot beavers? That's the dumbest thing I've seen since the last Senate meeting."

TWO-FACE (Gosling): "Aren't they cute? Watch this!" (Points to rodents chewing wires)

ATILAMAN: "Captain, those things are heading for the main power lines!"

(Two-Face flips coin nervously)

TWO-FACE (Reynolds): "This is getting too destructive. We should shut it down."

TWO-FACE (Gosling): "Where's your sense of adventure? Let's see what happens!"

CAPTAIN CANADA: "ATILAMAN, can you stop them?"

ATILAMAN (working on tablet): "Trying... They're using simple remote controls. Basic stuff."

CARNEY: "Basic? Those cost millions to develop!"

ATILAMAN: "Yeah, and I'm hacking them with a $20 phone app."

(The rodents suddenly stop moving)

TWO-FACE: "What did you do?"

ATILAMAN: "Changed their programming. Now they're just... standing there."

CAPTAIN CANADA (to Carney): "Looks like I kicked your ass harder than a moose kicks a tourist's rental car."

CARNEY: "This isn't over!"

(Two-Face flips coin frantically)

TWO-FACE (Reynolds): "We should surrender. This has gone too far."

TWO-FACE (Gosling): "Never! This is the most fun I've had since the last Quebec separation referendum!"

CAPTAIN CANADA: "The police are on their way. It's over."

CARNEY: "You don't understand what you're interfering with—"

ATILAMAN: "Save it. Your little beaver revolution just got dammed."

(Sirens approach outside)

TWO-FACE (coin lands Gosling side up): "Fine! But you're no fun, Captain."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Protecting Canada isn't about fun."

(Two-Face and Carney escape through back exit)

ATILAMAN: "Should we go after them?"

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Let the cops handle it. We stopped their stupid beavers. That's what matters."

(They exit building to sunrise)

ATILAMAN: "You okay, Captain? You seem quiet."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Just thinking about how easy it was for them to get people riled up with nonsense."

ATILAMAN: "People believe what they want to believe. Our job is just to keep the playing field level."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "You're smarter than you look, Ramon."

ATILAMAN: "And you hit harder than your press photos suggest."

CAPTAIN CANADA: "Coffee? I know a place that won't ask why we smell like burnt electronics."

ATILAMAN: "Lead the way, Captain."

_-AtilA-_