DOUBLE DUTCH BUS: a musical odyssey about losing your license (Track 1/6)

 

DOUBLE DUTCH BUS: a musical odyssey about losing your license (Track 1/6)

Track 1: “Slang Thang”

[SCENE START]

0:00 - 0:10

OPEN ON: A title card in a funky, 80s-style font with neon green and pink outlines against a starry night sky.

TITLE CARD: DOUBLE DUTCH BUS: a musical odyssey about losing your license

0:11 - 0:25

EXT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

The title card fades to reveal a slightly gritty, all-night gas station on a lonely California highway. A dusty, but still muscular, 1972 PLYMOUTH ROAD RUNNER pulls up to the pumps. RAY DELGADO (30s, handsome but looking tired after a long day) gets out. He’s wearing generic work coveralls.

He pumps gas, stretching his back. He glances towards the restroom door with a look of determination.

0:26 - 0:45

INT. GAS STATION BATHROOM - NIGHT

Ray is in the small, dimly lit bathroom. He’s changed out of his coveralls into a pair of very thin, tight, grey jogging pants and a t-shirt. He stuffs the coveralls, along with his wallet and keys, into a duffel bag. The song's iconic intro beat begins to fade in.

(MUSIC: Funky, rhythmic beat starts - "Do it to the east, do it to the west...")

He steps out of the bathroom, duffel bag in hand, and the door swings shut behind him. He freezes. A look of horror dawns on his face. He pats his empty pockets. The duffel bag is gone. He left it inside.

He tries the door. Locked.

0:46 - 1:10

INT. GAS STATION CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT

Ray approaches the bored CLERK behind the bulletproof glass.

RAY

Hey man, I locked my bag in the bathroom. You have a key?

The Clerk chews gum, unimpressed.

CLERK

Nope. That’s the only key. It’s in there.

RAY

You gotta be kidding me. My wallet… my pants… everything’s in there.

CLERK

(Shrugs)

Maintenance comes Monday.

Ray exhales, defeated. The funky bassline of "Slang Thang" kicks in fully as he walks back outside. He feels exposed, the thin jogging pants leaving very little to the imagination.

As he walks toward his car, a beat-up Honda Civic slows down. The driver, LISA (30s, pretty, with a recognizable "old flame" vibe), rolls down her window. She looks surprised, then amused.

LISA

Ray? Ray Delgado? Is that you?

Ray attempts a cool, casual lean against his Road Runner, but it comes off as incredibly awkward.

RAY

Oh, hey Lisa. Yeah, just… uh… coming from the gym.

An awkward pause. A DERANGED HOMELESS MAN is nearby, muttering angrily to a trash can. Lisa glances at him nervously.

LISA

Well… you look good. Take care, Ray.

She drives off, leaving Ray in a cloud of humiliation and exhaust fumes.

1:11 - 1:45

EXT. DRIVE-THRU - NIGHT

Ray pulls up to the brightly lit speaker box of a fast-food drive-thru. He’s third in line. The song's lyrics are now in full swing.

(MUSIC: "My slang is my thang, I'm Frankie Smith / And I've come to rock the house, I know you feel this")

The car in front of him takes an eternity. Ray’s patience is superhuman. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat, a calm smile plastered on his face.

Finally, he pulls up to the speaker.

DRIVE-THRU EMPLOYEE (V.O.)

(Static-filled, monotone)

WelcometotheSlangThangwhatcanIgetforyou?

RAY

(Smiling)

Yeah, can I get a Double-Dutch Deluxe combo, large, with a Coke?

EMPLOYEE (V.O.)

You want the wikka-wikka sauce on that?

RAY

Sure.

EMPLOYEE (V.O.)

That’s extra.

RAY

That’s fine.

EMPLOYEE (V.O.)

We’re out of wikka-wikka. We have zippity-zap sauce.

RAY

(Deep breath, smile unwavering)

…Okay.

EMPLOYEE (V.O.)

The zippity-zap is a 50-cent upcharge and it takes 90 seconds to prepare. You wanna wait?

Ray closes his eyes for a brief second, then opens them, his smile brighter than ever.

RAY

You know what? Surprise me. Whatever sauce you’ve got ready. And that’ll be great. Thank you.

He maintains this zen-like calm as he pulls forward.

1:46 - 2:15

EXT. DRIVE-THRU LANE - NIGHT

As Ray waits at the pickup window, head bopping to the music, we see Lisa’s Honda Civic parked near the restaurant entrance. She’s walking back to her car when the Deranged Homeless Man from the gas station appears, now more aggressive, blocking her path.

The man is shouting, getting in her face. Lisa looks terrified, fumbling for her keys.

Ray sees this. His cool demeanor breaks for a moment into genuine concern. He leans over and pushes the passenger door open.

RAY

Lisa! Get in!

She doesn’t hesitate, sprinting to the Road Runner and jumping inside.

LISA

(Out of breath)

Oh my god, Ray, thank you! He followed me!

RAY

It’s cool. You’re safe.

The drive-thru window opens. A pimply-faced TEENager hands Ray a large bag.

TEEN

That’ll be $11.47.

Ray smiles, reaches for his back pocket… and the smile vanishes. The reality of his situation crashes down. No wallet. He pats his jogging pants frantically. Nothing.

LISA

(Seeing his panic)

It’s okay, I got it.

She starts digging in her purse. The moment is intensely awkward. The Teen stares, unblinking.

Suddenly, Ray’s face lights up.

RAY

Wait! It’s cool. I got this.

He holds up his phone with a flourish, displaying a QR code for a payment app. He casually allows the Teen to scan it. A successful BEEP sounds.

RAY

(Smiling at Lisa)

See? Slang thang.

Lisa looks impressed and relieved.

2:16 - 3:00

EXT. DRIVE-THRU / PARKING LOT - NIGHT

A massive, tricked-out lowrider with dark tinted windows screeches to a halt right next to Ray’s car. The window rolls down to reveal LISA’S EX, CHAOS (40s, menacing, covered in cheap tattoos). He glares at Ray, then at Lisa.

CHAOS

Yo, LISA! Who this clown? You steppin’ out on me? You a pimp now, pretty boy? That’s my main squeeze!

LISA

Chaos, no! It’s not like that!

But Chaos has already pulled a chrome pistol. Ray’s eyes go wide.

RAY

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

(MUSIC: The song's instrumental break intensifies, becoming more frantic.)

Ray slams the Road Runner into drive and stomps on the gas. The tires screech as he peels out of the parking lot. Chaos follows immediately, leaning out the window and firing a wild shot into the air.

3:01 - 3:30

EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

A high-speed chase ensues. Ray’s Road Runner, a classic muscle car, handles the streets with raw power. Chaos’s lowrider is slower but handles corners like a go-kart. More wild gunshots.

Ray executes a dangerous drift around a corner, finally losing Chaos in a maze of side streets. He slows down, breathing heavily. Lisa is clutching the "oh shit" handle, terrified.

RAY

It’s okay. I think we lost him.

Just then, RED AND BLUE LIGHTS flash behind them. A police cruiser has appeared out of nowhere.

Ray looks in the rearview mirror, then at Lisa, then down at his ridiculous jogging pants. He sighs, the weight of the entire night finally hitting him. He pulls over slowly.

The police car’s lights illuminate Ray’s resigned face as he puts the car in park. He turns to Lisa with a weak, "can you believe this?" smile.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The police cruiser's spotlight floods the interior of the Road Runner. Ray rolls down his window, the funk of "Slang Thang" now just a memory, replaced by the tense hum of the engine and the static crackle of the police radio.

Two officers, OFFICER MILLER (30s, all-business, severe bun) and OFFICER REYES (20s, trying to look tougher than she is, but can't hide a flicker of amusement), approach the car, flanking each side.

OFFICER MILLER

License and registration, sir.

Ray offers his most charming, disarming smile. It’s a little wobbly.

RAY

Officers. Good evening. I can explain everything. There’s a slight situation with my license and registration.

OFFICER MILLER

(Face impassive)

That’s generally what I’m asking for, sir. The documents.

RAY

Right. Of course. So, the thing is… my wallet… it’s currently locked in a gas station bathroom about ten miles from here. Along with my pants.

Officer Reyes, on the passenger side, shines her flashlight into the car. The beam sweeps over Lisa, who gives a weak, terrified wave, and then down to Ray’s lap, where the thin grey jogging pants are prominently on display. Reyes’s lips twitch. She coughs to cover a laugh.

OFFICER REYES

Your… pants are in a gas station bathroom, sir?

RAY

It’s a long story. Involves a high-speed chase and a… a misunderstanding. But my license is valid! I swear. It’s just… on my other pants.

Officer Miller’s expression could freeze lava.

OFFICER MILLER

Step out of the vehicle, please, sir.

Ray’s smile finally breaks. He sighs and gets out. The cool night air feels particularly noticeable on his… well, on everything. He stands by the car, trying to stand in a way that is both non-threatening and minimally revealing. It’s an impossible task.

Officer Miller runs his information through the squad car computer. A long, agonizing silence hangs in the air. Lisa stares straight ahead, mortified.

Officer Miller walks back, her partner in tow. She holds up her tablet.

OFFICER MILLER

Mr. Delgado. Your story is creative, I’ll give you that. But the computer tells a different one. Your vehicle’s registration is six months unpaid.

RAY

(Spluttering)

What? No, that can’t be right. There must be a mix-up! I mailed that check. My… my accountant handles all that.

OFFICER MILLER

(Making no effort to hide her skepticism)

Your accountant must be as hard to get ahold of as your pants.

Officer Reyes snorts, then quickly turns it into another cough. Ray’s face flushes crimson. He can feel Lisa’s eyes on him. His manhood isn't just at stake; it's doing a full-on disappearing act under the glare of the spotlight and the officers' disbelief.

RAY

(Lowering his voice, pleading)

Officer, please. You have to believe me. It’s been a really, really long night.

Officer Miller looks from Ray’s desperate face, to the gorgeous woman in his passenger seat, down to his ridiculous outfit, and back to the hard data on her screen. She shakes her head slowly.

Leaning against the car, under the harsh police lights, Ray’s facade of control completely crumbles. He lets out a defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping.

RAY

Okay, fine. It’s… it’s not my accountant. My wife handles the bills. There must be some misunderstanding, I… I just assumed it was all taken care of.

The line hangs in the air, making the entire situation—the car chase, the woman in his passenger seat, his missing pants—a thousand times more awkward.

OFFICER MILLER

Turn around, Mr. Delgado. Place your hands on the roof of the vehicle. You’re being cited for evading, and this vehicle is being impounded.

As Ray reluctantly assumes the position, he catches Lisa’s horrified reflection in the window. He closes his eyes. This was not how this night was supposed to go.

[FADE TO BLACK]

(MUSIC: Song fades out with the final "Slang thang! Do it!")

ATILA